What is this page about?
This page allows you to generate a custom-made e-mail template file for use with Outlook Express e-mail client.
The e-mail template contains a custom-made signature containing your contact details in a neatly laid-out design.
An optional steganographic Echelon Salt®™ plugin is also available.
Why do I need an e-mail template?
An e-mail template allows you to create your e-mail messages in a pre-defined style and format, rather than having to use the default setting or specify settings each time a mail is composed.
Plus the e-mail signature contains all your contact details, so you don't have to type them each time you compose a new message.
How do I create an e-mail template?
If you know HTML, you can create an e-mail template by hand using just Notepad.
If not, you can use the form here (scroll down the page) to generate an email signature template file and use it on your computer.
What is Echelon Salt?
Echelon Salt is a revolutionary e-mail plugin for the Echelon program of the American National Security Agency (NSA).
Why do you say Echelon Salt is "revolutionary"?
Echelon Salt is the ONLY software to be certified by the NSA for use with their Echelon program!
When you use Echelon Salt in your e-mail messages, your communications are guaranteed to come under surveillance by NSA and other allied intelligence agencies.
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"Echelon Salt®™ is 100% compatible with our Echelon program."
- Keith Alexander (Director, NSA) in National Security Agency Journal
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What are your customers saying about Echelon Salt®™?
They love it.
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"Thanks to Echelon Salt®™, at least someone in the government reads our reports now."
- Michael Hayden (Director, CIA) in Central Intelligence Agency Magazine.
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"I used Echelon Salt Enterprise Edition®™ for Al-qaida and we got a lot of attention. Unfortunately, our license was
stolen and given to someone in the Pentagon basement - to a guy called Abu Musab Al Zarqawi. Soon enough, all the action shifted to Iraq."
- Osama Bin Laden (spokesman, Al Qaeeda) in Pakistan's Dawn
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n.a.
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"I wanted to buy some salt from the Internet, man... n I get this Echelon $h*t.
Guess what happens?
Some Feds show up!
No, I was cool...
Asked me some questions.
Thassall.
Didn't want to see ma stash or anythin.
They gave me a pack of salt and told me to take care of meself.
I dont half believe what happen today!
- (unidentified caller)
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Okay, I have a website and maybe some chat IDs I would like to put in my e-mail signature.
I don't want to put phone numbers or my complete address in the e-mail signature.
Can I still be able to create a template on this Web page?
This template generator is not very fussy about the details you enter.
You can ignore certain details and use some of your own, as shown on the left.
Go ahead;
knock yourself out!
Besides, you can always edit the template file that after you download it.
All right. After I create the template, how do I make my Outlook Express use this template?
After, you fill out the form below and click the Download button, you will be allowed to save the template file to some safe location on your computer.
Next, open Outlook Express and select Tools » Options » Compose.
In the Stationery group, select the Mail check box and then click on the Select button.
After that, select the e-mail template file you had saved on your PC.
Finally, click OK.
Now, try your composing a new e-mail and see your custom-made template at work.
I DON'T WANT Echelon Salt®™. Can I create the template WITHOUT it?
Of course you can.
Echelon Salt®™ is optional and is not selected by default.
Cool! This is the form?
Yes.
Well, I downloaded the template and am using it as my default email stationery but I don't SEE the Echelon Salt®™ plugin anywhere. Where is it?
Relax.
This is its default behaviour.
Echelon Salt®™ is based on the science of steganography - hiding hush-hush stuff in harmless regular stuff that nobody cares about.
As it is a steganographic plugin, nobody knows it is there unless they know how to specifically look for it.
Well, if you are really curious, just open the template file in Notepad and scroll down to its last few lines and you will see Echelon Salt®™ hiding there as an HTML comment.
(If you need to check it, then right-click a message, select Properties » Details » Message Source.
Of course, it may not be there if you had chosen not to include it when you created the template.
Remember, Echelon Salt®™ is strictly optional.)
By keeping Echelon Salt®™ as a comment, your messages continues to be within the keyword sniffing surveillance capabilities of the Echelon while recipients of your messages will know nothing about it.
Even when your message is changed to plain text, Echelon Salt®™ is not displayed because it then autodestroys itself.
Hmm. How much does it cost?
For prices and licensing details for the email template and the optional Echelon Salt®™ steganographic email plugin, refer following table.
| Cost of Template |
License of Steganographic Plugin |
Cost of Steganographic Plugin |
Licensed Use of Steganographic Plugin |
| $0.00 |
Echelon Salt Personal Edition®™ |
$0.00 |
for home use only (including rest of the family, relatives, neighbours, and friends) |
| $0.01 |
Echelon Salt Professional Edition®™ |
$9.99 + VAT |
for business purposes (not just in offices, factories, and other work sites but also in cafes and restaurants where you show off your Minesweeper skills) |
| $0.01 |
Echelon Salt Enterprise Edition®™ |
$999.99 + VAT |
across geographies (if you are like Al-Qaeeda or something) |
Is there a money-back guarantee?
You must be kidding.
What if I am detained and then subjected to unbearable torture?
Say that your father was a Jew.
While they check the veracity of your statement, take advantage of the break to happily commit suicide.
Torturing jews is considered to be anti-semitic.
Anything else I should know?
Read my book American Foreign Policy For Dummies.
Yes, Freedom™ sucks.
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